you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
