he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
