exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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