someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
