when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
