Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
