I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
