Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
