great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
