just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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