Who wears a wallet chain?!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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