Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
