im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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