So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
