I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I smell stomach acid.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
