Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
