also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
of course. lets lasso hookers.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
