I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
