East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
