no, he came in my armpit
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The power of my boobs compel you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
