Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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