areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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