okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
