She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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