yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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