And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
