i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
