i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
