apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
