I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
