Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
