i don't like sucking hair
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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