he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
