If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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