I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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