Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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