i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
