i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
