My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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