I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Oh god it's open bar.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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