She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
