was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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