Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
