All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
