so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He had one of those small greek statue penises
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
