On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
