so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Cover your peen. We're going out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
