just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
