His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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