but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
